Outandin
OUT AND IN
by Rob Rice
Outside
Sweaters set
In sync with the leaves changing
Highways in New York and Connecticut
Surprising
Their charm
In disrepair
The asphalt feels harder and more brittle
Loud
Like cold ceramic
Something in the families and water
The leaves that stink
Like creek bed and salamander
Fungal threads
Walks with dogs long since dead
It used to be
That you couldn’t make it once around the trail
Even in your imagination
The trouble of nutrient rich childhood
Weighing you down
The cold cheeks of a fat kid
Patchy red and white
The whole face is cheek
Brief exceptions
Expressions
New York and Connecticut
You’re a visitor there
What is it
It’s too deep
Grade
Grain the wood of those saccharine houses
And huge of them
The intricacy of the family systems
Not giving back
Like a forest
In a German fable
Wealth obfuscating everything
Disorganized and teeming
It’s so hard to lace
It falls asleep
into myth
Defeated lazily
into myth
Sinking with a smile like the French woman
It would take your whole life to understand
And then you’d try to explain it
And ruin everything
The natural
Exists right up until you press it
Then the domesticated
The museum
No one looking for proof ever witnesses magic
Inside
You stand there
Your sharkskin muted in the afternoon lights off
The apartment so well arranged it’s hard to speak out loud
The wall with one arm and bowing your head
Musing about what it would be like to be her
A woman your wife
Is this the first time you’ve thought like this
You think
And how exciting that could be
You could have an affair
She could have an affair
She’s still so beautiful
You’re so dark now
So late in the afternoon
A good hour since it would have been fully undepressed to turn the lights on
She could have someone over
Someone career army
Glass eyes don’t give
All belt and pleat
And he’d snap
Or he wouldn’t
But she’d know he could
He wouldn’t even have to
It’d be so obvious
You lost that
Or never had it
Your power’s gone
It’s out
Who bought this apartment
Where is she
How did you two meet
Can you remember
She can’t
She’s not even home
Enjoy your wealth
She has him
Or might as well
You could find someone
With all that
But you couldn’t hide the power thing
The lack there